I have a professional woman as my wife; a Chartered Accountant.
She uses LIFO method while taking out the refrigerated food.
She thinks I am no good with numbers. Fine with me, for now she handles the
budget of the house. Initially she used to send me a bill at the month end,
but when I told her that I am not her client but her husband, she asks for
the money in advance. The expenses had been rising steadily over the
months, so one day I snooped into the papers maintained in a current file.
No wonder! She was charging mileage and overtime to the house budget. She
is crazy, I tell her but she corrects me. "No honey, I am the auditor".
I fail to see the light. Every scrap of the paper in our house is filed.
She tells me as per some Ordinance she must keep a copy of everything for
at least seven years before destroying it. I am worried.
The other day we had an hour-long fight. Later, I got to know that she had
charged that hour to a client of hers, in the time sheet. My time was put
down as unoccupied. She says that she loves me and I tell her that I love
her too. However, she never believes me. She says that there is
susceptibility of it being a misstatement. Duh! She wants my representation on this!
Last year our house accounts got a qualified opinion I had not kept the
supporting etc. of my purchases.
Not a long time back my brother's wedding was to be solemnized. Wedding
cards had been sent. After some time I started receiving a steady trickle
of letters. I was puzzled until my wife explained that external evidence
was more reliable. She had called for confirmations from all those to whom
cards were sent.
When she cooks: my wife at times does not go by recipe. Where the recipe
says add half-teaspoon vinegar, one tsp black salt or one teacup of water,
she ignores them. She says that they are not material when taken in context
of whole meal being prepared. She is crazy, I tell you. Surprisingly
everybody calls her an auditor, instead.
I checked the dictionary and it did not state that auditor is a synonym for
crazy. The dictionary must be outdated.
When we got married, she had given me an Engagement Letter and I had said
“how cute-how sweet”. Now she gives it to me every year saying that her
standards state that it must be sent anew if there is any indication that I
have misunderstood the objective and scope of engagement. Huh!
Apart from sending me the engagement letter once again she says I can't
get rid of her just like that. She says that she has the right of being
heard before I appoint someone else. Phew! For a minute, I thought that we
had jeopardized our going concern status. Duh! Dare I say so??
I am told by one of my female colleagues who is married to a CA that the
scenario is even worse when the guy is a CA. Apparently he capitalised the
wedding expenses as preliminary expenses and is writing- it off every year.
Also the time he spent dating his wife before marrying her is still under
consideration for valuation...valuation of intangible assets.
So guyz please think twice....should u really marry a CA? and yes, please
discount it by the appropriate rate to arrive at the present value of the
risk of doing so !!!!!!!
Funny huh? So peeps,whose planning to do accounting in the future...and falling in love with a auditor...plz consider and think properly! xD
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